No name, no numerical marking so the Soviet intelligence-gathering trawlers wouldn’t know who was coming and going. I was hoping he would be a cook’s assistant or paint sc****r. Some lowly swab my rating or close to it.“He’s the Exec.”Shit, shit, shit. I might have knocked up the wife of the number two officer on the sub.It would be Vietnam, for sure. The army had its ways of ridding itself of debris.I looked in her eyes for what I hoped would be my last time and said good bye thanking her for all she had shared with me. She smiled and said I had been a blessing to her as she was not out roaming the dives of Charleston and got to know a nice guy. "Some lucky girl will stumble on you and you will make her day."I stopped going to the navy base post exchange fearing I would run into the Commander and his wife. Instead, I shopped at the air force’s BX.About four months following my last weekend with Mrs. Commander, I went into the CAFB BX to purchase some Tee shirts, black socks, and. " He hopped to his feet and started to pace restlessly; I flinched, startled by the abruptness of the movement. It occurred to me, as my first reflex was to assume I'd be hurt, that I had been letting trust issues run my life for far too long. Unaware of my internal monologue, Alistair continued, "I wasn't disgusted with you. Truly. I was hurt, thinking that you might have had ulterior motives for being with me, but I wasn't disgusted with you. I was disgusted with myself. For ever thinking I deserved something more, deserved to have someone love me just for me. In my head ... of course you had ulterior motives, I should never have expected otherwise. I was disgusted with my own stupid naivety and optimism. And then you were gone, and when everyone found out what happened..."He sank back down beside me, looking exhausted. "They all made me see what an imbecile I was, that you had no possible ulterior motive. That you'd avoided me for months to prevent me from falling for you. I didn't.
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